Bantam Brother by James Ramsden

Sunday 21 July, 2002

Bantam Brother Week Three

Big Brother hysteria is hitting the country, and we've all got opinions on who should stay and who should go. Another 'big brother' has a similar scenario. GR has to decide who should stay in the house and who should be evicted. Why doesn't he turn the BCAFC situation into a reality gameshow -(dodgy geordie accent - could get Beags to do this) 1 club, 9 players, who stays - you decide.

Monday.

Andy is going round to each housemate and chatting to them, but unbeknownst to them, he is then spreading backstabbing rumours. He told Eoin that he thinks Jamie hates the both of them because they are Scottish. He also told Eoin that he saw Jamie stealing from the food cupboard. Eoin can't believe it - Jamie stealing yes, but not liking the Scottish?

Wednesday.

This task is completed in record time. The housemates had to memorise and name 30 fashion designers and makes of sports cars. The housemates are rewarded by watching Stuart McCalls testimonial game. The sound of Scottish voices causes Eoin and Andy to consume 3 litres of Frosty Jackz strong cider and 8 cans of Irn Bru. Up for eviction are Eoin and Andy due to the fact that they remind the other housemates of Jim Jeffries.

Thursday.

Ashley catches Andy pissing in his hair gel.

Friday.

Claus has begun talking to himself in a strange language. Peter had his first run out today, but collapsed after two laps of the garden. Jamie has got the two evictees to dye their hair so they look cool when they meet Davina. Andy looks like and extra from Braveheart. It's Eoin who gets the public vote. The Daily Star has started a campaign to keep Andy in the house for the comedy element. The other housemates can't believe it, his constant lying is starting to get them down - just the other day, Andy told Jamie that he could do 20 keep ups with a ball.

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